Chuck Lorre’s Placard tonight, #329: If Charlie Sheen Out Lives Me…

Feb 14, 2011 by

UPDATE: Whew, impressive.  MSNBC is so on this: Posted it tonight, 2/15/11, almost 20 hours after I did.

Part of the extra fun of watching Two And A Half Men for me for years was being ready to stop and read Chuck Lorre‘s ending note placards.  They’re usually laced with information about how the CBS censors wouldn’t let there be jokes about one thing, but allowed something even more outlandish into an episode and how they can suck it.

Well, tonight was a little different.

Here’s the message:

I exercise regularly. I eat moderate amounts of healthy food.  I make sure to get plenty of rest.  I see my doctor once a year and my dentist twice a year. I floss every night.  I’ve had chest x-rays, cardio stress tests EKGs and colonoscopies. I see a psychologist and have a variety of hobbies to reduce stress.  I don’t drink.  I don’t smoke. I don’t do drugs. I don’t have crazy, reckless sex with strangers.

If Charlie Sheen outlives me, I’m  gonna be really pissed.

The last news I heard was that tonight’s show was the last one they had in the can.  You’ve already seen CBS doing screwy things with the line up.  Let’s face it.  Monday night is the funniest one on TV.

But I think, even though Lorre may be trying to be funny here, that his lining has worn a little thin.   Some don’t realize how their life effects another, but this latest deal with Charlie is costing a lot of people a lot.

Charlie Sheen clearly has spiraled out of control.  He’s the current male version of Lindsay Lohan.

Let’s hope it all works out.

And Chuck, for now, unless Charlie is somehow related to Keith Richards or cockroaches, I think the odds are in your favor.

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Feeding Santa Healthy Snacks Christmas Eve

Dec 22, 2010 by

Custom Santa Suit,
Image via Wikipedia

Santa’s On A Diet, Exercising  And Encouraging Better Eating Habits

*Check out the snack ideas for Santa on Christmas Eve
*And don’t miss the YouTube video below of Santa working out

Having served in Santa’s Elf Corps once upon a time, I recently was lucky enough to meet with Santa Claus and talk about how both of us need to lose weight, start a healthier diet and daily exercise to encourage better eating habits, including healthier Christmas Eve treats.

In January, through my PR, social media and marketing company, Claxton Creative, LLC, I’m also going to be sending letters to New York advertising agencies calling on them to be more responsible and use thinner representations of the Jolly Old Elf in 2011.

In our conversation it became clear, Santa isn’t a happy man.  His weight is really troubling him these days.  He said he realizes that his weight and eating habits are setting a poor example for children of all ages.  The man who has been a positive influence on generations of children said he is intent on remaining a positive influence.  He said the best way he knows to do that is to add some healthy changes in his eating habits and for advertising firms to be more responsible and use healthier representations of his obese figure.

Santa said that in days of yore, children used to leave him carrots and celery.  Then in the 1950s when chocolate started getting mixed in with cookie treats, children started leaving him whole milk and sugar-coated cookies, cakes and pies.  After a few million of those in one night, well, it’s no wonder why Santa is so out of shape.

He said he’s been taking the reindeer for walks each evening after dinner and going to the North Pole gym in the morning.  He said it’s really making a difference, but there are ways children nowadays can help him out.

When we talked, we shot a new EA SPORTS Active 2 workout that I’ve posted on YouTube.

Recently I met with Dallas nutritionist Donna Israel, the president of Dallas’ Professional Nutrition Therapists, LLC, who made Christmas Eve snack suggestions that are good for all, including Santa.

Healthy Suggestions for Santa on Christmas Eve

While not completely eliminating traditional sweets from Christmas Eve Santa snacks, the nutritionist has recommended choices of the following items for Santa and the reindeer:

  • ½ cup granola with a sprinkle of dried cherries and unsalted nuts and 1% or skim, fat-free milk or plain or light yogurt
  • Red/yellow/green pepper strips with nonfat sour cream or hummus dip
  • Grapes or apple slices with 1 oz of cheese or peanut butter
  • Air-popped popcorn
  • Hard cooked egg with a dash of spicy mustard
  • Berries with 1 oz of ricotta  or string cheese
  • Sunflower, pumpkin or squash seeds
  • Sugar-free Jell-O
  • Plain or light (sugar free) yogurt
  • Smoked salmon and cream cheese on cucumber slices
  • Lettuce Roll-ups –- Roll luncheon meat, egg salad, tuna or other filling and veggies in lettuce leaves
  • Whole-grain bagel (3 inch) topped with natural peanut butter
  • Bagel chips or baked tortilla chips with salsa
  • Spread all natural, low sugar peanut butter on a celery stick, pretzel or banana
  • Pita bread stuffed with lettuce, tomato, cucumber and low-fat dressing

Now like many of you, I remember watching the  TV classic of Mrs. Claus saying, ‘Eat, Papa! Eat!’ but we all know now that having a ‘Fat Santa’ isn’t as important as having a “Healthy Santa.”

When children see a fat Santa they become desensitized to his obesity.  Santa has had an impact on hundreds of generations, and with obesity so prevalent in our society, he knows if he started showing up a little skinnier in TV ads and magazines, people might begin to think about how important it might be for them to shed a few pounds, too.

EA SPORTS Active 2

In 2009, I began using the EA SPORTS Active for the Wii after Santa brought us a Wii for Christmas 2008.  My weight has been a problem for a long time.  In fact, I’ve never been able to use Wii-Fit because of its 330-pound weight limit.  From April to Sept. 2009, I lost almost 50 pounds using EA SPORTS Active and then it’s follow up product More Workouts.  A bout with Diverticulitis in September sidelined my exercising, which led to my gaining back most, if not more.  With the release of EA SPORTS Active 2,  I’m back on the program.

I want to tell you about Professional Nutrition Therapists, LLC.  Their website is A complete recipe for weight management success is listed on their homepage under “Weight Management Solutions.”  The company’s Genergy program is currently getting twice the weight loss due to testing for genetic link to carbohydrates or fat.  PNT says a balanced plan is the cornerstone of a successful personalized plan. They also offer a Take Shape for Life Program that has s a structured caloric approach.

EA SPORTS Active didn’t ask me to include them in this video, but it’s important for me to tell you that I’ve been working with them since February 2009.  They’ve done nice things for me like a trip to Santa Barbara, New York City, and Los Angeles.  I’ve also received a copy of the product each time a new version has been released.  Their corporate literature says EA SPORTS Active is an innovative line of interactive fitness programs that offer personalized, customizable workouts.  Developed in collaboration with fitness experts, EA SPORTS Active focuses on improving muscular strength, endurance and flexibility, as well as improving cardio, which can help achieve fitness goals including building muscle, increase energy levels and weight loss.   EA SPORTS Active tracks your movements on screen to give you real time feedback on your workout and, similar to personal trainer, provides clear instruction, feedback on technique and encouragement.

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Oh yeah, Santa said if you leave the Wii on Christmas Eve, depending on how he’s doing, he might just do a workout in your living room.  He said he’ll try to keep it quiet and that he hopes you won’t mind.  Merry Christmas.

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